When Boy Meets Boobs
by music-is-luv
Summary: One-shot. Naruto cathes Sasuke staring at Sakura's boobs. SasuNaru. Pointless insanity. Read and Review, kiddos. :D
1. Oneshot: When Boy Meets Boobs

Disclaimer: Don't own, you bastards.

Okay, so yeah. Weird idea. I was bored. Don't feel like typing an into. Also, Naruto's personality is a bit weird, I think,

This is also told in Naruto's point of view so....yeah.

Anyways, yeah, please review. And remember, it's supposed to be funny and stupid. Don't take it seriously. Just review if it's funny and you like it. :D

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I noticed something once. And I'm pretty sure I know what you're thinking. Thank you, Naruto, for noticing that the sky is blue, if it's yellow it's not snow and that, no matter what you want to believe, it really ISN'T butter. No, I noticed something. Something amazing and devastatingly mind-boggling at the same time. I noticed that, and I kid you not, Sasuke was staring at Sakura's boobs.

And not like, oh! That shirt has something funny on it, aweee! And mean, like, he was STARING. And he was staring HARD. This kid was NOT playing any games, he was seriously into it. I'm surprised Sakura didn't notice. I mean, I'm pretty sure she didn't. She wasn't squealing or poking out her chest or anything. She was reading a book. It was called No Girls Allowed. There was a picture of a really skinny and really beefy looking guy hugging. Which is...weird. So I sort've figure they're best freinds or something. Anyway, Sakura was completely oblivious that the guy she's been crushing on for YEARS is now completely and utterly enamored with her boobs. Which brings me to my next point.

WHAT THE HECK?!

I didn't say anything about it. 'Cause, you know, it'd be embarrasing for me to tell he'd been caught at it but DAMN would it be embarrasing for him. And usually I'd jump at the chance to utterly DESTROOOOYY his cool, bad boy, No-body-is-good-enough-for-me image but....Wow, that'd just be....weird. So I ignored it that day. And the next. And the next. And the next. And then, well, I just couldn't take it anymore. Now, I'm not cruel, and he is my best freind, though both of us would rather die that admit it out loud, so I didn't suddenly scream, "HEY YOU BASTARD!!! STOP STARING AT SAKURA'A NUNGA NUNGAS, DAMMIT!!!" No, this called for a whole heck of a lot of subtlety.

So I planned my attack for the next several days until I finally struck at the Ramen Bar. "So Sasuke," I said, "....I saw you staring at Sakura's boobs a couple days ago." If he was shocked or embarrased or even mildly suprised he didn't show it. This kid has the facial expression range of a fossilized foot. BEEEEEElieve it. Have you ever been in argument with someone where, like, say they took something of yours. And you KNOW they did. I mean, you REALLY know. You have suspicion, sure. But you also have facts, a motive, witnesses, DNA samples, a tape, and a dirty record of the same felony. You KNOW this fucker took it. And you confront them about it and they pulled one of these on you.

"No I didn't."

And because they keep denying it, you slowly start to believe them. Like, holy crap, DID he take it??

"Bitch, yes you did! I saw your ass, now give it back!!!"

"I didn't take it."

"I SAW YOU!!!! HE saw you! THEY saw you!!! You LEFT a RANSOM NOTE!!!!"

"No I didn't."

"Oh. Okay then."

Yeah, that's pretty much what went down. "Hn, Dobe. Why would I be staring at her chest?" I believed him for about half a second. But then, again... Oh, I dunno. You're a horny 14 year old teenager who happens to find boobs sexual appealing like ever other horny 14 year old in the fucking universe.

"You were searching for lost candy, I DON'T KNOW BASTARD!!! That's why I'm asking you, ya prick!!" Ah, look!! A facial expression!!! He looks like he wants to jump out of his body and crush me with the sheer force of his MIND.

"That was very rude, dobe." Well, so is staring at a girl's boobs without permission, you perv. Oh wait, that's a good one!!! I should say that out loud!!!

"So is staring at Sakura-chan's boobs!!!"

"Shut up, retard, you don't know anything." Oh...my....God, did he just call me a RETARD!!!????? Wow, he must be really nervous to stoop so low. And I know he realizes his mistake because I'm making this face:

(0_____________o)

"O-kay, dot dot dot question mark, moving on- SOO!!!! WHY were you staring at her boobs."

"I was not."

"Was too!!"

"I was not."

"Was TOO!!!"

"I WAS NOT!!!"

"YOU WERE TOO!!!!"

"So!!!" Uh...what? He winces. "So? Even I WERE, which I WASN'T, what's it to you?!" That's a good question. Why do I even CARE??? It's not like I like her, that wore off a little while ago. You know, when I got some sense??? But she's STILL my freind!! She's like my sister!! So of COURSE I care when guys stare at her boobs!!ESPECIALLY Sasuke!!! He's only supposed to stare at ME!!

....Wait, wha???

"Well??"

"Huh?"

"Ugh!!!" He threw his Ramen bowl down and began walking off. Come to think of it, didn't Bastard Boy tell me he hated Ramen???

"Hey! Don't walk away from me!!" He was turning the corner when I tackled him, although I'm pretty sure he didn't try to stop me. He's a ninja, after all. If he didn't want me to tackle him I sure as hell wouldn't have been able to. So I landed on his stomach, pinning his arms with my hands.

"Uff!! Get off me, dobe." He growled at me. He has a nice growl. Wait! No! Bleghhhh!!!! Yucker, icky, disgusting growl. The growl of SATANNNN!!!!

"No! No until you tell me why the frick you were staring at Sakura's boobs, you dirty pervert!!!"

"I wasn't staring at her boobs!!"

"Yes you were!!!"

"No I wasn't!!!"

"Yes you were!!!!"

"No I wasn't!!!"

"Then what WERE you doing!?!"

"I was thinking about you would look in the dress!!!!!"

Uhhhh....What??? I was so shocked that I let go completly. He pushed me off, brushed imagnary dirt off his cloths, and began walking off. And, holy CRAP!!! He IS a pervert!!! But...he's a pervert about ME?!?! What the frick??? So...he likes me then??? This is GREAT!!!! This is why I've been feeling so weird lately!!! I like him, too!!! Duhh!!! I'm so dumb!!! And, holy cheese cake on rye! He's getting away!!!

"Um...uh...u-uh, Sasuke wait!!!!" He pauses for a second and continues walking. Dammit.

"DAMMIT SASUSKE WAIT!!!!!" I run as fast as I can to get to him, and it's not like he's trying to run away, so I catch up without much incident. I stop in front of him and he stops as well. I rock back and forth on my feet and give a tiny grin.

"So....do I look nice in a dress?" I'm blushing, I know it, so I grin bigger and force myself to look brave. Him, not so much. He looks down, blushes, and kicks a rock.

"Yeah..."

"So.... what you're saying is...you only like me because I look good in a dress?" I put a little attitude into my voice and his head snaps up, looking alarmed.

"No!!!!" Once he realizes I'm joking, his face burns.

"Haha, it's okay. If anybody is going to imagine me in a dress, I'm glad it's you." I kiss him on the cheek. Just so you know, I'm acting wayyy more brave than I actually am.

"So...you like me too, then??" He smiling!! Holy cheese!! Not a smirk, not a grimace, but a SMILE!!! I, Naruto Uzumaki, made Sasuke Uchiha, SMILE!!!! Hahaha, victory dance!!! His smile is melting, WHY!?!?! Oh! I forgot to answer!!! I throw my arms around his neck and lightly touch my lips to his. I feel him smile against my mouth as his arms snake their away around my stomach. Oohhh, this feels nice. He mouth let's go of mine and we stand there for a bit, staring at each other with this goofy expression on our face. Ahhh, I could definately get used to this. Wait a second!!!

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute!" I step back. "This still doesn't explain why you were staring at her BOOBS!!!!" He looks a little confused for a second before he starts laughing. No really. He LAUGHED. And not like, chuckle chuckle. No, he was like, HAHAHHAROFLMAOMGTGPHAHAHAHA!!!!

"What're you laughing about, you freak!!"

"Naruto," his laughing dies down to an amused smile, "I was just thinking about how much you would look like a flat-chested girl."

Uhm...come again?

"She's flat-chested, so are you. You wouldn't look that different." Smirkity Smirk.

"YOU PERVERT BOOB-OBSESSED ASSHOLE!!!!" I smile.

MY perverted boob-obsessed asshole.

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Yeah, the ending kind of sucks. But, whatever. REVIEW!!!


	2. Author's Note: At Your Request

O-kay, so I think it's pretty damn obvious that I'll nevereverevereverneverever be able to finish an actual story in my entire existance on this Earth as a human being SO!! I think I'm just going to start writing shots, be they ones, twos, or threes. Whatever. So! Request an idea, a couple, theme or whatever you want.

Keep in mind, I am an EXTREMMMEEEEEE yaoi fangirl. BUT!! I will write hetero if it's not Sakura, Kagome, Misa, or stupid ass characters like that.

REQUESTTTTTT!!! And maybe someday I'll write and actual story and COMPLETE it!!! :D:D:D

~Music outttttt.


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